Saturday, March 27, 2010

A Dog, A Cat and A Rat

It was a day like any other. Mum opened the back door to hang out the laundry. As usual, she gave this beagle the "Sit" command before allowing me to go out. I waited patiently for the "OK" signal so that I could dash out to the backyard to sniff out any intruders since this beagle last patrolled the perimeter. The release command never came. Instead, mum shrieked with horror and quickly closed the door.

"What on earth is wrong with this woman?", I thought. I see her sending an sms to dad. Then she's on the phone with grandma. Shortly thereafter, grandpa and grandma arrive. Now, usually, I get to hang out with gramps when they come. But not this morning. Instead, mum locks me out from the house as she and gramps go into the house and head towards the backyard. I strained my short beagle neck to see what they're up to...

It was not a pretty sight and mum wanted to spare me. It was like a scene out of CSI Vegas. The mangled remains of a body laid on the backyard floor. The guts were spilled out and the severed head laid inches away from the bloodied body. The victim was...

....A RAT! No wonder mum shrieked with horror. She is squeamish (she can't even watch when the doctor gives her a jab, but is a big fan of CSI Vegas ...go figure!). That's why she enlisted gramps' help to clear up the crime scene. There was no way in the world she was going to touch the dead, mangled rat. Why, she couldn't even bear to see the rat again! To cut a gory story short, gramps, supplied with gloves, a make-shift spade, lots of newspapers and a bag, cleared the rat and its remains. The body was gone but the bloody trail of the foul crime remained. Mum summoned all her courage, got out the broom and a big bottle of disinfectant to wash away the remaining evidence.

It doesn't take a Grissom (even though he's no longer on the show) to figure out who the perpetrator is. It was the CAT! It's bad enough that the cat poops in our back garden from time to time. But this was really too much! Leaving a mangled rat in our backyard after such a savage attack is despicable. Unfortunately, we'll never know which cat did it as there are quite a lot of them hanging out in the back alley. So, it looks like this will be one of those unsolved cold crime cases.

Mum is now very cautious whenever she needs to go the backyard. But, she is thankful that she made me sit that day before letting me dash out. She knows that I won't be able to resist sniffing at the rat. It would have been a disaster. But, this beagle thinks "Darn, I missed out on a chance to investigate a real life crime scene!"

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Kess' Guide on "How to Enjoy a Bone"

When I'm good, I sometimes get a Pedigree Jumbone as a reward.

Unfortunately, this isn't available in Malaysia, so it means that it's rationed...sigh... Fortunately, my humans had stocked up on their recent trip to Bangkok, so my doggie pantry has quite a nice supply of Jumbones (how many visitors to Bangkok actually buy Jumbones instead of tom yam paste???).

So, how does a beagle enjoy a bone? Well, let me count the ways...

1) Always bite off more than you can chew...A beagle mouth may look small, but when it comes to biting off the bone, it can bite off a lot more than it looks!

2)Make sure you chew your bone, and chew it well!

3) Don't forget to keep an eye and ear out for any surprise attacks for your prized bone!

4) All is well...Let's get back to gnawing!

And that my canine friends, is how this beagle enjoys her bone!

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Actions...and consequences...

This is the beagle in action...

Digging the muddy garden when my humans are out. Hey, this beagle only wanted to have some fun

Trying to climb the wall when my humans are out. Check out the muddy beagle paw prints on my humans' newly painted garden wall.

This is the beagle facing the consequences of her actions...

Check out the mournful look on my face as I face bath time to get rid of the mud mask on my nose and mouth (my humans didn't buy the facial argument - but hey, human ladies pay good money for mud masks and I get it free from the garden...)

This is the beagle trying to undo the effects of the bath by rolling on the floor (my humans were not pleased!)

Having a game of tug of war over the bath towel with my human. Probably the most fun part of bath time. Check out those paw prints on the wooden gate. Yeah...part of my high jump actions when my humans are out.

Finally, a happy and mud-free beagle (at least until my humans go out next!)

"No beagle ever did, or ever will escape the consequences of her choices" (at least not if she belongs to my humans)
paraphrased from a quote by Alfred A. Montapert

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